Lifestyle Makeover: Being the Fat Girl

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Let's face it, being the fat girl SUCKS.  Big time.  It's embarrassing + uncomfortable and weighs so heavily on your head + heart...  And your organs, liver, vessels, etc.  I know very well, because I've been there.  Unfortunately, I've really really been there.  

I have been toying with the idea of sharing this information (because I'm embarrassed at my present weight), but decided to suck it up and share...  Around this time in my life (back in Spring, 2012): 

I weight a whopping 199.9lbs.  Even though I never saw it on the scale, I was 200 disgusting, fatty, icky pounds.  Oh my gosh how gross is that?!  The sickest part of it is that I did it to myself.  I certainly have hereditary obstacles set forth for me, but none of which guaranteed/forced me to weight that much.  Ever.  What's worse is that:

I've never had a baby.
I've never had some debilitating injury.
& I've never had some thyroid issue, crones disease, or other medical ailment.
I have; however, had a diet + exercising problem.  big time.  
Cue the birth of the "Lifestyle Makeover."
Back in April I began a journey to focus my energy on living a healthier lifestyle.  
I still binge on junkfood, enjoy the beverages, and skip the gym, but what I don't do is combine these behaviors, nor do I allow them to occur more than once in awhile.  I'm really hoping that with the end of summer, so will the end of my lax behavior on my diet/exercise regiment (haven't been able to get back in gear 100%) be, and can't wait to kick it back into action.

As of today, I've lost officially 40lbs.  I fluctuate amongst a few of the high 150's/low 160's, but have seen as low as 158.4lbs. on the scale (since beginning the makeover).  Someone of my height is recommended to weigh anywhere between 108-143lbs...  Which is quite a vast range if you ask me!!  It's all contingent upon your level of activity, build, and genetics, so (without any medical insight) I'd be comfortable with myself at a 130-140lb. range.  

Realistically, 130lbs. is hard (for me) to achieve.  Some girls my height would rush to grab the fastest diet cleanse if they ever saw that much weight on the scale, but for me it's the opposite.  130 is my "goal weight."  Not even my goal... my "dream weight."  It's highly unattainable without the assistance of a personal trainer + complete purge of any "bad" behavior, and it's not practical for me.  

The thing is, you have to compare where your comfort zone is to yourself.  Your 5'2" and my 5'2" carry such different meanings...  So even though I pine over looking like a teeny tiny pixie, reality is it isn't gonna happen.   I don't even think in my dreams would it happen since my brain isn't that unrealistic.  But my 5'2" now compared to my 5'2" back in the spring - now that is one heck of a comparison.

I have really struggled (and continue to do such) with the concept of what is realistic/practical for me & my lifestyle/demands and continue to focus on what is considered "doable" for me.  

I hope that with time (and especially with my July, 2013 wedding as motivation), I'll see that scale continue to creep down...

...It's not easy
...It's not quick
...But it is worth it.  
Look at the girl to the left in the brown dress shopping for her wedding gown...  She looks a lot happier + healthier than the one in the earlier post, and she's the same woman on the inside.  

At 158ish lbs., it's safe to say that it's not over (not by a long haul), but it's a lot closer that it was to begin with...  all it takes is getting up and going.

Just do it.
If I can, so can you.

A Mommas Desires And Pacifiers


Morgan @ xoxo, me said...

This is awesome. I really admire you for putting all of this out there, because I'm sure that's hard to do. You've made such amazing progress, though, and that's really something to be proud of! Congrats to you, and way to serve as an inspiration for others! xo

Lora said...

Great post! And great job losing the weight. being the fat girl really isn't fun....this is why I am working on kicking her to the curb!

Stopping by from the linkup. :)

Katie said...

Good for you, girl!!!! I can totally relate, I've gained weight crazy style since high school, and despite a recent job change that has me walking almost two miles a day, I've gained weight since last year. I'm at 193 which I think is the highest ever, and I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. When I did our company's annual health screen the other day and saw that I'm closer to double the low range of my "ideal weight" than I am to being at my ideal weight - that stung. I mean, obviously, I will never be 100 lbs, and I don't even think that's healthy so those ranges are kind of ridic, but I know I'm fat and I KNOW I need to do something about it. I've cut back on junk food and the amount I eat in the last year, and still I've gained, so I'm confused. I just need to get out and exercise a LOT more, but I'm so full of excuses that I don't. The one thing I really don't get though, is WHY. WHY do I hate my body so much, and I still don't take the action to fix it. You're proof it is possible, and I'd love to hear more about how you did it!

Cassandra said...

Wow you must feel so good! What an inspiration. Weight loss has always been hard for me so I love hearing success stories like yours. Good luck on your continued weight loss journey!!!

Sami said...

Girlfriend you are SO awesome! I need your motivation and I need it like right now. Your before photo? That's so me right now. I'm so unhappy with the way my body looks but I smile and pretend I don't care. I also pretty much only post pictures on my blog from the neck up so nobody can tell. Pretty sad right? If you can do it, I can do it :) Thank you for posting this love! It was so brave but I know it's going to kick some people in the butt like it has me! xoxox

mrs. moore said...

YOU ARE AWESOME! WAY TO GO! I love seeing real, authentic, curvy girl bloggers laying it out there for readers-- from one to another, I'm inspired and so freakin' jealous! YOU ARE HOT!

Way to be courageous and share tough stuff! Go girl, go girl, go!

Charissa from the Moores

Stephanie @ bourbon and glitter said...

That is super inspriring Christina! I just can't seem to get motivated, so I'm really excited to go back and read your ideas on how you did it. It's definitely working.
(Not that this is a compliment but when you say you were 200, you dont look anything near it. So don't lose a ton of weight and look all bony and odd!)

Amanda said...

You are amazing! 40lbs is such an accomplishment and I think you look GREAT! Keep it up girl!

Lacey_Renea said...

You look fantastic lady!

I'm 5'3 and 150 is the ideal weight for me, in my opinion. I can't wait to get there - I'm in the 190s now!

Keep on keepin on!

Christine said...

You are an incredible inspiration! I'm in the same place you were when you started and it SUCKS big time. I feel like I have a skinny girl on the inside. Congratulations on such an amazing success!

Jade :) said...

isn't it crazy that some girls the same height would DIE if they were 130 and I'm with you, I don't even remember the last time I was 130, maybe I was 9? Seriously even in my freshman year of college when I was the skinniest I've ever remember being I was 150 and I thought I was super fit! :D I think everyone should have their goal body and NOT their goal weight. You look AMAZING! And I'm sure if other people had to guess your weight they would guess something far lower then 158! Congrats! Keep up the good work!

Kenj said...

You are inspiration to so many! You look fabulous. It is so inspiring knowing you took control and you fixed the problem! Good for you girl!

Kristen @ KV's Confessions said...

You are beautiful!! I've never been big on diet and fitness routines, but I understand everyone has that moment of, "omg, i need to lose weight." It's really good you are motivated, and I'll be cheering for your success! xo

Traci Aerykssen said...

40 lbs! You're an inspiration! Good luck with your goals. Youve ready proven you got what it takes. Combine that with a realistic mindset and I think you're golden.

JKT said...

THANK YOU for such a real, honest and inspiring post!

Over the past year or so I've gained a lot of weight. I went from a low 140 to low 160...cue a breakup and at my biggest I was like 188 or so. I knew I had gained weight but it didn't really HIT me until I did a BMI calculation....and it calculated me as obese. I cried.

It's taken about 4 months of being 'half committed' but I'm down to 169. For the past 6 weeks I've been doing Weight Watchers consistently, working out and trying to get myself back into shape....and happy with where I'm at.

My goal is somewhere in the 130's... I don't know how long it will take to get there but this time I'm determined to loose it and loose it the RIGHT way and for good.

Thank you, thank you for this post :) It was really encouraging to me.

Cocalores said...

You really look good in that photo! It's totally okay to be curvy =) You've made a great commitment here and I think you'll manage just fine with all that determination you've shown! Way to go!

Alana Christine said...

thanks for sharing! You look GREAT! I tried to snoop and find out exact details on how you did it, but couldn't find much. Care to share tips?

Amy said...

You go girl! I have randomly found your blog and your story is very similar to mine. Just living unhealthy puts on the pounds. But awesome work on the weight loss! You are looking incredible! I do know what you mean about feeling embarrassed because you do feel terrible that you did that to yourself. BUT you should be proud that YOU have the made the decision to change and make yourself a healthier person! :) Best of luck on your journey I look forward to updates :)

MaskedMarvel said...

First of all, you were Not fat before; you were voluptuous. As well as super cute. I would have loved to have a gf as cute as you when I was in college.

You're cute now, but it doesn't matter what weight you were/are.
Seriously; if no-one was judging you when you were 200 and everyone complimented you on your looks, would you have felt about about your weight? It wasn't your weight that was the problem; it's the judgmentalism of other people.

The reason I'm saying this is you should know that no matter what your weight - you're cute. And other people's opinions are stupid.

Best wishes,

Jon in Los Angeles

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